Here Comes Mama Claus

You know what is annoying the absolute hell out of me right now? That I keep getting all of these emails and hearing all of these commercials about how it is not too late to finish my "last-minute Christmas shopping!" LAST-MINUTE?? What in the hell?? Last-minute is when you find yourself buying a crappy racecar at Rite-Aid on Christmas Eve. Last-minute is NOT WHEN IT IS ONLY DECEMBER 13TH!!!!!!! Are they trying to give us heart attacks? What has this world come to? A full MONTH ago I was in the mall and heard a mom lamenting how she was not just quite done with Christmas shopping yet. IN THE FIRST HALF OF NOVEMBER. I spit on her. Well not really, but I did give her an evil look. Behind her back.

I blame the internet, really. Apparently right after Thaksgiving this year the internet was flooded with traffic. By early December, half of the things Henry wanted were already sold out online. Anyone with small children knows that having to shop a month before Christmas is a huge joke. The under-5 crowd has the interest span of a flea, so if I was organized enough to buy whatever my kids wished for in November, by December it would be old hat. Plus I am completely convinced that toy companies over-advertise and understock just to create a huge demand for their products. Thank goodness I found the last two Power Rangers Delta Enforcers at Toys R Us, but lets just hope Henry and Quinn will be distracted by all of the other presents and forget about that Power Rangers Supreme Megazord that they want so badly and that no longer exists in any store on the planet. And I am not even letting them SEE any other toys until Christmas. If they start noticing Bionicle, then by Christmas Eve they will be sending an emergency memo to Santa saying that they no longer like Power Rangers and so could he please bring them the Bionicle guys instead. Then I will REALLY be screwed.

So by the way, I have to tell you how Henry lets me know what he wants for Christmas -- DVR (Time Warner's version of TiVo). He used to fast-forward through all of the commercials when he was watching a show, which I loved because then I knew he was missing all of those brain-washing advertisements. But recently he realized that he was missing out on an opportunity. So now he forwards through the commercials until his keen eye spots a desired toy. Then he PAUSES the commercial, runs to find me, and drags me to the TV to show me what newest poorly-made, over-priced piece of plastic he wants. I have to admit that it is kind of nice because then I know exactly what he is talking about without having to guess, but it is a little unsettling to see a young kid so savvy in his quest for materialistic possessions. My favorite was when he told me that "they said that if you want the new Game Cube, then it is only 9 9 9 9, but that it is only at Toys R Us. Why is it 9 9 9 9, Mom? Why do you have to have 9 9 9 9?" Now let's just hope he doesn't see any Bionicle commercials.

So in our efforts to keep Christmas reasonably small, here is what they are getting:

Henry -- Power Rangers Delta Enforcer, Lego Prehistoric Creatures (from the Discovery Store), Lego Helicopter, Blokus board game, and one other board game that I have yet to pick BECAUSE IT IS NOT LAST-MINUTE, PEOPLE!!!

Quinn -- Power Rangers Delta Enforcer, a car garage toy, a dump truck, a Rescue Hero, and one other toy that I have yet to pick because, well, you know why.

So five gifts each. Is that reasonable? Have I lost my mind and am actually giving them too much stuff? Or am I being too miserly with only five things and they will feel like Santa gave them the shaft when they go compare notes with their preschool friends? Bear in mind that they will each be getting gifts from two sets of grandparents and a few other random relatives. The five gifts above are just from us (three from "Santa" and two from Mommy and Daddy).

I don't know. What do people think? How much is too much? How little is too little? What do YOU do for Christmas? I feel like if I am going to make it through another 16 years of this, I need some sound advice.