Are the Wheat Thins People Blazing A Doobie?

I took Henry to the grocery store today. I really love it when I can take just one boy with me instead of both because it is so much more peaceful and kind of fun. Now, normally I have both boys with me and so I tear down the aisles like a Nascar driver, trying to get everything I need before the boys either (a) hit each other, (b) jump or fall out of the cart, or (c) throw a fit about some ridiculous thing, such as not being able to buy the dog toy in aisle three (we don't have a dog). But today it was just me and Henry, so I had time to actually LOOK at the food as I passed it. I stopped dead in my tracks in the cracker aisle.

Has anyone taken inventory of just how many Wheat Thin varieties there are? I have. I was so fascinated that there could be so many ways to flavor a processed square that I seriously wrote them all down. Seriously. Right there in the store. Here they are:

Wheat Thins Original
Wheat Thins Reduced Fat
Wheat Thins Low Sodium
Wheat Thins Big
Wheat Thins Honey
Wheat Thins Ranch
Wheat Thins Sun-Dried Tomato and Basil
Wheat Thins Whole-Grain
Wheat Thins Multigrain
Wheat Thins Five Grain

Can anyone think of any situation that does NOT involve hitting a bong that would motivate the good people at Wheat Thins to think that this many flavors were necessary? Just look at the last three on the list. Does anyone think they could detect a difference between the taste of a whole-grain, multigrain, or five grain cracker? Like, what, you would be eating a five-grain, and then think to yourself, "You know, this cracker is a little bland. This needs a few more grains in it. I am going to try that multigrain one next time."

When I wrote them all down, Henry asked me what I was doing. I couldn't answer him because I didn't know how to explain to a four-year old the concept of corporate overkill. Or the munchies.

Oh yeah, and they make Wheat Thins Chips, too.