Bad Waiter

You know when you are at a restaurant and you have a crappy waiter, so if you see them across the room up to 50 feet away, you flag them down like a crazy person? I am my children's bad waiter. They will be sitting peacefully (or more likely playing in some way resembling wild animals) in some room of the house. The moment I am spotted they think of 30 things they need.

Example:

Henry, the four year-old, will be sitting on the couch watching educational TV -- you know, Power Rangers. He will be happy watching all of the peaceful playing, I mean extreme violence, for some twenty minutes or so. I walk by him en route from kitchen to computer and hear, "Mom, can you get me some Goldfish?". Or "Mom, I'm really thirsty!" The boy is flagging me down like a bad waiter! Like he is thinking, "You know, I don't know when I am going to see her again, so I had better ask for anything I might need or want for the next hour while she is right here." This is true even if their Dad is right there with them. Multiple times I have looked in the mirror for some sort of tattoo across my forehead that says "servant" but I have yet to find one. I don't get it.

Example 2:
Quinn, the two year-old, will be playing with Leggos, seemingly immersed in his own little world. I walk anywhere near him and he turns into a 28 pound leech --- "Mommy, I wanna hold you!" he says in his cutest, most desperate little voice. Those big blue eyes are irrresistible, so of course like a wimp I pick him up.

What have I learned from this? The following: Never get within eyesight of a happy child. If this means testing the limits of your bladder because the kids are in the path between you and the bathroom, then so be it.